Adventurous Proposal

By: Laura Barnard

1/5 👰

Florence and Hugh meet one night at a bar after they’ve both been stood up by their respective Tinder dates. Later that night, after Flo is talking about her ticking biological clock, Hugh reveals his theory that the sooner you get married, the more likely you are to work hard at a relationship. With that laid out there, the pair decide to get married on Christmas, which is 22 days away. The short time frame isn’t the only hurdle. Hugh and Flo must deal with disapproving parents and friends, vengeful exes, and a whole lot more as they try to make the perfect wedding happen.

I have never met a Christmas book I don’t like… until now. I know given these independently published books is risky, but I’ve had nothing but luck with these books. So, when I saw Adventurous Proposal on Amazon for about $3, I thought “why not?” The premise itself is a little hokey, but I love that in my holiday books, so I was willing to look past it. What I couldn’t look past was the vulgar language, my distaste of the main characters, and the borderline aggressive sex scenes.

As I said above, I truly hated almost every aspect of this book (and I feel really guilty saying that). Flo struck me as weak, and her thoughts made it seem that she only felt worth when a “hunky” man like Hugh wanted her size 12 body 🙄 Hugh’s mother was entirely vulgar and homophobic to an extent that was almost unbelievable. I understand that the author wanted the reader to dislike the mother as much as Flo, but saying Flo's mother was "too busy licking vaginas" (because she was a lesbian) is something I truly can't imagine a character such as her saying. This language continued throughout the book. I'm no prude (hello, I loved The Kiss Quotient), but there's certain language that really makes sex scenes disgusting to me. The fact that Hugh and Flo have sex just about anywhere at anytime is kind of like... wtf? I mean, actual people are walking by them in public... so maybe I am a prude in that regard. It just seems so weird to me.

I also didn't like Hugh. He was supposed to be this hunky character, but he was quick to anger and had a lot of red flags. I don't know if this was the author's attempt to say "yeah marriage can work even when characters aren't perfect," but I just really didn't like it. And finally, the thing that annoyed me about the main characters the most is that they ruined their friends' and families' holidays so they could get married on Christmas. What would you do if someone came to you December 3 and was like "I'm getting married ON Christmas, and I need help with the wedding?" Uh, no. I'm sorry, that's just too much for me. I hate giving books 1 star, but this one actually deserves it in my opinion.